… divorced people were asked what they’d learned about relationships from that experience.
No surprise, they emphasize the importance of “affective affirmation,” which is psych speak for making loving gestures such as kissing, hand-holding, giving compliments, and saying “I love you.” Fact is, people do feel closer to each other when they regularly demonstrate loving feelings.
Orbuch reports that divorced people identified four important ways to show affection:
1. How often a spouse showed love
2. How often a spouse made a person feel good about the kind of person he or she was
3. How often a spouse made a person feel good about having individual ideas and ways of doing things
4. How often a spouse made life interesting or exciting….”
(This is a quote within a quote. I have to track down the original place I found this yet…but the list itself is so telling and so simple.)